Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
wow. When I'm done with him he's going to have to pop his collar in necessity and not just douchery
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
I'm pretty sure I said "this might be the last time I'm in here" but then I took his pants off so that's a mixed message
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
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