ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
You tried to put a condom on my dog, then he ate it.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
