he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
I want to be your penis for a week.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
Randomize
