I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She has an incinerator in her basement. Have you ever incinerated used condoms?
Lmao what?
It's a yes or no question.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
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Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
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We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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