I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
I have dined. Now I want to get fucked.
Randomize
