What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
I just smoked a bowl while riding a horse. This has been a productive vacation.
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
Was about to close the deal last night until he said he hadn't seen the Taylor Swift video. So I made him watch it before I let him have sex with me.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
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