return my video game
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
