32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
in case you blackout.. this is confirmation that yes, you were sitting spread eagle on the kitchen floor chugging pickle juice out of the jar.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
Randomize
