Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
She told me that for every Ravens touchdown, I'd get to come once.
Marry her. Marry her now. I'll help you steal the ring.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
You do it and I'll burn these mermaid pants so help me God.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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