just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
this other lifeguard and I are actually considering paying a kid to shit in the pool
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Randomize
