so explain again why im purple
no
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
I just had someone call me out on a walk of shame via megaphone
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
Everyone is hammered wasted already...young, old, the dying, babies...we got them all
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
Don't do anything you wouldn't want to explain to paramedics
But that's half the fun of it
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Randomize
