Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am thankful for thumbs.
Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.
Land dolphins.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
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