This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
god, I have more takeout restaurants in my contacts than friends
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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