Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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