Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
