I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i took my goldfish out of his bowl last night and put him in my bed
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
