Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
if you do the accent, i'll wear the eyepatch
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Randomize