How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
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