So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
