Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
Ew. He is mine. We all know that if he has a mid-life crisis and decides to sleep with a student, I AM THAT STUDENT. She's not friends with him on FB. Reassuring.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Randomize
