So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
Apparently this is my life now. Fucking men in their 30s with small dogs.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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