I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
Randomize