we have pet lesbian snakes
I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I was looking at some smoking pipes on amazon the other day and realized that work people could look at my history and do a drug test. So I immediately started looking at Sherlock Holmes hats.
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
You're 31, how do you still outdrink all these college kids?
Practice, Irish genes, and a lack of desire to live past 40. But mostly practice.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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