He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
drinking ice water after you brush your teeth, is like Antarctica blowing a load into your mouth.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Everything was going well until he very loudly said that he wanted to cum on my fingernails.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
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