Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I have to hand it to her. In my heyday I took home the 'biggest shitshow of the night' award 9 times out of 10. But I passed the torch on to her last night, and she went skipping merrily far and away with it into the enchanted world of aggressive alcoholism. Is this 30?
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
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