she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I've reached the point to where my pre-gaming needs to be limited to pre-inning-ing
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker