you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
19 Unhappily Married People Confess The Red Flags They Ignored
He was with one girl when I went to bed, wad with another when I woke up and now he just told me he was with a 3rd in-between last night and this morning. Jesus Christ.
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
Come down. Bring Jorts. We're getting ready for this tricycle race like champions.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
These 23 People Destroyed Their Entire Lives In An Instant
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.