so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
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That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
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When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm very aware of my heart moving the blood in my body.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle