the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I feel like death gave me a hand job
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
Just puked most of my soul out..
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
