my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
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