I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
This is final. The chair stays in the bathroom, we are too old to be puking from the floor, grown ups sit in chairs infront of the toilet to puke.
Or grown ups don't drink themselves into vomiting.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
