oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
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