I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Sorry my hands just texted you
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
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