we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
And I can say one thing, I look pretty good in high wasted pants. I don't know if that helps. But I do. God I'm high.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I had sex for the second time today and ate an entire bag of alligator jerky on the way home. These truly are the golden years.
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
In honor of Dennis Farina dying, I'm offering up free mustache rides...2 takers so far.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Where are you and why are you fighting with a bird?
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
Randomize
