I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
I just heard a girl in all seriousness say, "I told him I'm not a stalker. I just really really want to talk to him."
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All I know is you walked out of the kitchen in some kind of French onion dip bra and started passing out individual chips to guys saying " do you dip?"
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
I can't have the last guy who touched my vagina be my coworker.
Randomize