i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
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saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
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