i got lost in a forest last night. this morning I realized the "forest" was just 6 trees on campus.
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I have pink band-aids all over my body, WHAT HAPPENED?
Keg backpack and a Bike
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
It's the warm chocolate goeyness of a brownie combined with the heavenly taste of weed-smell... Why have I never done this before?
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
