I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
