I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
Randomize
