can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Hooked up with a guy dressed as Miss Frizzle last night... Asked if I could ride his Magic School Bus
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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