tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
This is like a relationship, I expect to be mind blown at least once a week.
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
Randomize
