I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
I may or may not have melted a dent into the top of my minifridge with my hot glue gun, which I left on for the past couple hours unsupervised, while we were on our salvo/savers excursion. Welcome to Halloween in college.
birth control should be required to get into college
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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