Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
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I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
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All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
To be honest. I have two poptarts in my jacket pockets. No one knows. I am pro stealth.
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
there is glitter all over my balls
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