my vag is singing 'hurts so good' by john mellencamp
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
well she hit her head and had a concussion. i had to make out with her to keep her awake.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Drunk you needs to learn how to call sober me, so sober me can talk your drunk vagina down.
Randomize
