Scared. last time someone tried to talk me into they said it tastes like tapioca and i projectiled onto a closed window
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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