Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
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I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I feel like the universe head butted me in my balls. That hungover.
.... My lady balls. Cuz I'm a lady.
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
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If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I have aggressive nipples.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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