It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Just had a threesome for the second time in my life. I don;t even enjoy threesomes. Too much effort.
HOW DO THESE THINGS KEEP HAPPENING TO YOU?
Randomize
