WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Oh my god. Just had sex with this girl on the boardroom table at my work at midnight (win!) just realized I left the condom wrapper on the table (lose!)
You stole her bday cake and shared it with drunk strangers on the street.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
Yes but that point is quickly negated bc u should never have to search more than one room to find your underwear.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Randomize