All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
Mom is so high she had to turn off the ceiling fan because it was going too fast and it freaked her out.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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