What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
So i just got diagnosed with swine flu. im at walgreens looking like shit and this guy keeps staring at me. Im so gonna cough in his face.
well, dont
I didnt. i just coughed then looked at him menacingly. he got it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
I managed to convince my mom that my hickey was a birth mark I have always had. She cried for an hour about being a terrible mother for never noticing it.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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