Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
i wanna make it FB official so he cant fuck anyone else. but that means i can't fuck anyone else either. CONUNDRUM
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
she drove 3 hrs one way just to sleep with me. I felt bad complaining about paying for condoms.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
The alcohol just runs so smoothly thru my veins.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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