Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
