the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
I didn't know how to tell her I was too busy getting stoned and making a baked potato to meet up and finish our group project.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
Randomize
