hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Your cock deserves a montage
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Randomize
