Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
best part he said "i like your tattoo" as he walked into the room, stood right there looking at me, naked on top of his friend
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
Still in Rome. Hooked up with frat boy from SoCal that's studying abroad. He said he was 1/8 italian. I'll take it.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
When you consider the sheer number of events that had to occur in order to prevent me from fucking her, there must be a god
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Randomize
