Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Woke up in a pool of alcohol sweat. Probably could wring out my sheets and make a decent cocktail.
I feel like one of those toads that you lick to get high or find a prince.... cept when you lick me you find a drunk whore.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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