I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Go to petsmart and tell me if the dog trainer is the guy I slept with friday. Thanks.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
You're wrong. It's my BIRTHDAY. We all know it's impossible to get pregnant on my diva day!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
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