I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
