you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Randomize
