I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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