i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
She went to the bathroom before i broke up with her so i changed all 2500 of her songs on her computer to "I'm a cheating whore"
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
May or may not have just lost a contact hanging out Anthony's sunroof. Drunk. Hint: I can only see out of one eye right now.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
Randomize
