Is it too weird if im a sexy tampon for halloween?
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
he referred to my room as the tit cave...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
the cab driver asked if you were our mom. you definitely shouldn't have tipped him so much.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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