i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
Am I supposed to get so horny by looking at your dick that I start orgasming uncontrollably
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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