Can i not drive my cunt home
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
Randomize
